sep 21 09 helping hand is not the same as back handed

two people so far, moms of course, grandmas even, have come out and commented (cough cough attacked cough cough) my looks in the last two weeks. one even pleaded "take time for yourself!" full of concern and worry they both inquired about the lack of attention to my hair, makeup, clothes, weight. both of these ladies have many things in common. They are both plastic surgery fanatics, both obssesed with youtfulness, and they are very present in the childrens and grandkids' lives. both of them have have also facilitated their daughters' return to "normalcy" after babies.
i have no husband, no mother, no father and no inlaws in sight. i soldier on alone, yet i'm still held up to ridiculous standards. i'm angry, and angrier as i type.. why do mothers think we should all be the same? that we should all prescribe to the same type of bullshit, and that cookie cutter is the only way to go for a woman? why can i pick a diffrent path? look like dogshit?
i dont know about the rest of you, but i'm not the mom i was a year ago; i'm not the mom i was 3 weeks ago! without fail, just as i get used to my duties and schedules (and the driving, my god the fucking driving) poof! it all begins again. a new tooth, a new friend, a new lesson. six weeks is the max until another big change happens and then i adjust.
from the infant years to the highschool years, the only thing about motherhood that is constant is change itself. i'm embarrassed to even be writing about it, but it seems that it's not clicheed enough to be left alone, as proven by these well meaning, in the box thinking grannies.
can i compete with a mom that always looks hot, has time to go to the gym, fuck her husband and go to mommy and me? in the words of the immortal whitney houston, hell to the no! and i dont want to, because i cant. i made my decision a few weeks into single working motherhood. i made a list of what was going to be prioritized in my new life. kids first. and since april, i pretty much haven't had a breath to think about the rest of the list.
people have personal issues, and make personal choices. some of those people even happen to be mothers! lets just leave them alone, shall we? and if we really are so concerned about how they look or what they wear or how they parent then give them a helping hand, because a back handed comment is all that it takes to send someone into the deep end. (not me though)